Category Archives: Uncategorized

bird

poor bird scared suffering you looked at me with your red side-eye opened your beak wide and let out a soft, plaintive cry I wanted to reach out and stroke your speckled back touch your head offer comfort compassion but … Continue reading

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landmines

Dear JJ, I stepped on a landmine yesterday. They lurk out there in the normal world – unseen, unknown – always taking me by surprise and triggering a rush of emotion.  There is absolutely no way to prepare for them.  No … Continue reading

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lessons from overbrook

Yesterday I mowed my lawn for the second time in my life. I have a big, weedy yard.  For the last few years a neighbor has kindly volunteered to mow it for me and that was a lovely gift.  I … Continue reading

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choosing to live

I remember it clearly. The image.  Two pathways. One, to live. The other to die.  To quit, lay down, give up. I knew no one would fault me. Both were acceptable, given the circumstances. I thought about dying.  Peaceful.  Painless. … Continue reading

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rescues and rainbows

Today I saw a rescue on the beach.  It scared the shit out of me.  First the woman staggering out of the surf, being lifted and carried, then the lifeguards signaling to someone still out in the water, finally leaping … Continue reading

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the way to grace

Every midwife knows that not until a mother’s womb softens from the pain of labour will a way unfold and the infant find that opening to be born. … Oh friend! There is treasure in your heart, it is heavy … Continue reading

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one step, then the next, then the next…

The brain is such a strange thing.  Thinking back over these last few months and tracing my decline – that’s what comes to mind – how strangely the brain works, and how things are stored there and what prompts them … Continue reading

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don’t worry, about a thing

Easier said than done though.  Especially since I am still struggling. As best I can tell it’s grief, again, in a different form.  Sharper, because I’m not wrapped in the cotton of shock anymore.  Stealthier, because it comes disguised as … Continue reading

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notes from the other side

Today is Friday January 13, the day before the two year and two month anniversary of THE DAY.  I realized the significance of today only because I noticed my heartache was back in a big way. So I posted on … Continue reading

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’tis it really better to have loved and lost?

This blog post made me think of the phrase “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When JJ died and I was reeling with the shock, drowning in a black place of despair … Continue reading

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