looking back

I can see where I’ve been, and I can feel the difference inside of me.  I’m amazed at how far I have come in such a short time.

Just two months ago, something as simple as tying my shoes seemed like an impossibly difficult task.  Even then, though, I was aware that it was nowhere near as hard to function as it was a year ago.  As I look back, I realize I was a walking shell of a person, barely in touch with the ground I was standing on. Looking back, I don’t know how I made it through – even though I am the person who made it through.

My friend Meigan told me I’d feel that way.  She said I would think that I was functioning in reality and wouldn’t know until later how disconnected I was from life.  It’s true.  And I wonder, a year from now, when I look back – what will I see?

I am contemplating something rather brash – and I had a fraction of a second’s worth of doubt, wondering if I am brave enough to do it.  Then I remembered what I’ve been through and thought HELL YES I AM BRAVE ENOUGH.

I know, in the deepest depths of my soul, that I am brave enough.

In all that has been lost, this is one thing I have received.

 

 

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